After Benny last year decided on a trip to the wight isle, we thought we would make the trip an annual event.

This year it started at t’union on a wet Wednesday afternoon.

Due to the fact that Britain is much like Alaska during the winter months, us cricketers must find something to keep our nipples warm over the close season. We also get the chance to have 7 months full of banter proclaiming we are the best team in the union.

So we set sail with 25 of the finest freshers yonder to hoverport. The journey having the characteristics of a fuckin rollercoaster due to the amazing ability of the hoverdriverist, it made a lot of people look like the incredible hulk.

We just about arrived in ryde, though straight away lost a fresher. Ah the buddy system [rip tiny]!

We started to set up the various challenges we had planned for the day, to begin we were to assess the freshers preparation for the day.

The random object task is a familiar one and it was done moderately well. The best being fresher stretch Armstrong happy meal squirrel and supa fresher bubba’s cd necklace. Shameful efforts by penicillin who wore his kfc pack for the rest of the day.

After consumption in bar one we hit spoons to escape cocky freshers. They were given another challenge by vice pres dibble, to bring back to the old boys a live sea creature. Conditions for fishing were prime.

Specimens we received included a small fish, sea weed wtf and a sort of crustacean. Those freshers who brought back a pint of sea water ‘mr and mrs maroon’ had to obviously consume after a piss poor attempt.

Quickly onto the next challenge was “the bare foot shelter scavenge”. The rules simple, to find a way of getting home to Portsmouth or find shelter for the night.

Success was the beds that mr & mrs maroon obtained, also the 12x12 plastic sheet received by pretending to be itv news crew.

Whilst we were mingling in spoons in ryde, a few freshers decided to order food.

Oh dear. Of course we all know that eating is cheating. Poor inexperienced freshers. Their punishment follows.

Fresher manilow had been kind enough to randomly buy a wok so contributions from all the old boys were taken to fill it up. Those who ate consumed out of the almighty wok. Wok on!

One of the last challenges, a race. A naked race.

The course along the sea front in the pouring rain. What great fun. Winners got a ticket on the hovercraft home, the losers got hyperthermia…everyone gets a prize.

Straight to the union for the night and plenty of touchcupiness.

Much obliged to the following

Tom ‘alfie’ dibble for organisation of the day

Chrissy ‘el pres’ howe for coordination and lack of drinking?!

Rocka ‘beer goggles’ fella for superb challenges

Teddy ‘airhorn’ Bear for making sure the isle of wightians knew we were there

Hovertravel for not dropping us off in the solent

Fresher league table:

Super Fresh ‘Bubba’ Kyle

“Stretch” Armstrong

Scotch

Lav

Muttley

Melon

Shirley

Manilow

Jedi

Jackson

Mr & Mrs Maroon

Nedved

Pennicillin

Tiny